-^-for posterity-^-

there’s a wonderful meal here called bo ne. it comes on a large, iron skillet that’s sizzling hot. the word ne means to dodge or to evade. the word bo means beef, the variety of which any true, red-blooded american should be quite familiar. the word ne is the most important.

eating becomes a dangerous affair. the iron skillet is shaped like a cow. its body is wide and rectangular. that’s where the beef and what not goes. it’s feet are handles which are not meant to be held. it’s head is smiling. how macabre can we get here. do you really think a steer that’s been raised in a barn its whole life for the sole intention of being slaughtered, diced up and served on a sultry hot saturday morning is actually happy? do you really think they have a sense of self?

the plate is covered in some sort of oil which easily catches fire. the plates are heated over an open flame. this, obviously, leads to accidental fires. when this happens, the cook calmly places beef and onions and what not on the iron skillet apparently oblivious to the searing heat.

i normally get bo bit tec op la which is a beef-egg-onion-garlic combination. the plate comes to the table jumping and screaming. the heat’s attacking anything it can get its hands on and the first thing available is the beef and eggs. they jump too. the cow continues to smile. yea! seared flesh!

this is the point where the word ne comes into play. you’re forced to dodge/evade the flying pieces of fat and grease. if you don’t, you’re sure to have a memorable burn. the girls that work at these adventure-eating establishments have countless scars up and down their forearms. some disgusting and others look like a series of scar-freckles. the girls don’t seem to enjoy their work.

the plate sits at your table for a few minutes before you’re able to eat it. you turn the beef bits over and stir around the egg cooking it to your liking. you then eat it with bread.