-^-for posterity-^-

family has a much stronger feel after living in a culture that was heavily influenced by our friend confucius. your family is the most important thing in your life. your family is an extension of you. your family brought you into this world and nurtured you. your family fostered that magical, electric life that pumps your heart and fires your neurons.

i'm getting to know my mother and brother again. after a solid ten months away, we've all changed.

my mother is as thoughtful and wonderful as ever. she has whisps of grey hair on her temples and is as confident as ever. she smiles and tells me about her life and school south eastern pennsylvania. we talk about grandparents, family systems and the beach. she is my mother and i give her random hugs which she seems to enjoy.

my brother has changed more than i had imagined. he came to vietnam very thoughtful. his eyes seem to be wider and he asks a lot of questions. we sat around and talked and got to know each other again. he likes books and talks about authors i've never heard of. he's still tanned and beautiful.

i've also gotten to know myself through seeing my family again. they are the center point from which i can judge how far i have swung. i'm constantly probing and wondering how much, and in what way's, i've changed. i've leaned that i have no sense of humor any more. thousands of vietnamese pop videos have sapped that from me. i've also become much ruder when i talk to waiters and people who work at hotels. in vietnamese, words like 'thank you' and 'please' and 'you're welcome' are not used much. if you complement someone who is doing their job as they normally do, it is a bit rude. if you say 'thank you' to a waiter who brings you a cup of coffee, you are basically telling him/her that s/he's going above and beyond what is expected of him/her. it's also the same with friends: if i ask a friend to take care of my dog, i shouldn't say thank you to him/her. it's their 'duty' to help me as a good friend. i made the mistake of telling my friends 'thank you' and they were quickly annoyed. that's why i'm not polite anymore.

i'm going to continue probing and questioning until i find out who i've become. i'm really enjoying my time with my family. i'm enjoying the connection that they provide. i'm reminded why i am who i am.