-^-for posterity-^-

things go down hill. the clouds form above, slowly moving to block the sun and cast everything in a pale gray. there's that feeling inside. that feeling of not being congruent.

being away from the people you love. being away and alone, trapped in a situation, makes something inside ache. feeling like an ant.

i sat along the side of an un-paved road drinking a cup of coffee that was too sweet. my mind was detached from my body and my soul was long gone. i was detached, alone.

then i looked up and saw a man in a small hat. he was a young man, about my age. he was standing at the back of a large truck and working feverishly with a slight grin on my face. i took all my problems and stored them. my soul crept through the floor and my mind fell back into my body.

the man was unloading bricks from the back of a truck by hand. he would grab a stack of three bricks, press them together with two hands and stack them neatly on a pile of even more bricks. he moved rapidly, smiling. he wasn't talking, but something was amusing him.

he had found joy.

i sat on my red plastic chair with my cup of coffee and added a little tea to it. i started to smile. here i was, working with what i had to work with. i had my own inadequacies, my own tendencies and they were all spiraling out of control today. there he was, wearing a tiny hat and sweating in the sun. he was unloading bricks and smiling.