-^-for posterity-^-

the day is brighter. even though the clouds are low and the rain came this afternoon as i was playing chinese chess with my friend as three little boys stood behind me telling me where i should and should not go, the day was brighter.

i ate my lunch today and it was good. i have fish in tomato sauce with a fried egg and coffee most days. we sit on lawn chairs a foot or two from the road and talk this and that. things feel less foreboding, things feel lighter. there is still loss, but the pain is dull and throbbing instead of sharp and biting.

i work for righteousness and truth and this and that. i love that about life. that you can change, that things/people can change you, that you can do better, that those things/people can help you do better, that you need the low to appreciate the high. i love life like that. at one moment you can be on the top of the mountain and then, like ziggy, you're flicked off. we all get flicked off the mountain every once in a while, it's inevitable. we just have to learn how to get up by ourselves.

sometime i need the help of others. sometimes, when you light incense sticks, hold them to your forehead and make a deal with god, god kind of giggles.

i don't know where you all came from but, without your support, i would be nothing. i don't know why you all do it, but i'm flattered. if you don't understand this nebulous message, i apologize.

if you do, you do.