-^-for posterity-^-

my new hair cut

i had my hair cut on the street the other day. it was just one of those experiences. i was sitting in a coffee shop with one of my friends and he told me i should get a haircut. he said that there was a place in the alley behind the shop. we finished our coffee and ambled down the narrow street.

at the end of the street there were three chairs narrowly squeezed in front of ancient mirrors. two of the chairs were full and the third chair was being guarded by a very large man with extremely short hair. he didn't look at all amiable.

i was instructed to sit down and my new fat friend went to work. he circled my head cutting aimlessly. he snipped and little bits of hair floated in the air, up my nose and i spent the next minute trying to avoid sneezing. he took out a razor and cut around my ears. he combed it all over into what has now become my very comfortable part down the side. i still grin whenever i see myself in the mirror with such toolish hair. whoever thought i would revert to such behavior.

my friend then convinced me that i needed to get a shave. i remember when i wanted hair to sprout from my face. i wanted to be masculine and old and have all the women swoon. now, when hair sprouts from my face and makes me look like a disgruntled sailor, i regret all those pre-pubescent longings.

the man took at me with a straight edged razor after spraying some sort of lotion on my face, neck and ears. he started with my sideburns and then moved down to my chin. he then shaved my upper lip and lower lip. all was going well, thought i couldn't put the thought out of my mind that he was going to, at some point, slash into my flesh and i would be left running to the hospital holding my cheek. he then started to shave under my eyes. i didn't have hair under my eyes (that i knew of) but he went after my upper cheek with abandon. he then shaved my forehead and my hairline. i was told not to wrinkle my forehead and i did my best not to laugh. he then moved onto my neck. i sat in the chair and listened to the traffic. i pushed my head far back into the headrest of the chair and arched my adam's apple sky high. he worked slowly and each movement of the razor on my neck was unnerving. he reached my adam's apple without incident and i shut my eyes and tried not to breath. a dog barked beside us. his hand, luckily, was steady.

he then went on to shave my ears. i kid you not, he shaved my ear lobes and then moved onto the outer area of my ear making sure not to miss an inch. he shaved both ears and, i might add, quite well. when he was done there was no hair on my outer ear.

he shaved my neck and all was well. he washed me down with another type of lotion and i was done. i paid my fifty cents and left with a new lease on life. i carry no scars.