-^-for posterity-^-

i met a man today who sells ‘number 1’. ‘number 1’ is a terrible energy drink that tastes like a mixture between plastic and cough syrup. it is yellowish-orange and usually comes in a very tall, thin bottle. it is asked for in english and their slogan is ‘be number 1!’.

in vietnam, number 1 is the best and number 10 is the worst. most things are usually rated by people. ‘you are number 1.’ ‘he is number 10.’ normally, people stick to the ‘1’ and ‘10’ rating system but some people end up straying. they’re the eccentrics.

‘this food is number 3.’ ‘this motorcycle is number 8.’ it gets out of hand at some points but there are weirdo’s everywhere you go.

this man’s job was to drive all over the three provinces surrounding long xuyen and make sure that all of his retailers were well supplied and generally happy. he had a tired, sad look on his face but he talked about marketing and sales with zeal. he was wearing his official shirt which had a giant patch on the back that said, ‘be number 1!’ he looked about an 8.

he talked to the owner of the coffee shop i was in and got him to give me a free sample. i had told him i drank ‘number 1’ before and that i didn’t really like it too much. he said that it probably wasn’t cold. i said, no, i had it with ice. he said the ice was probably bad.

the sample came and my tired, sad looking friend sat across from me and looked on eagerly. i drank a little and couldn’t help but pucker up my face. his face changed from anticipation to disappointment at about the same rate my mouth curled into a pucker. it still tasted like plastic and cough syrup.

he looked at me and said, ‘why are you disappointing me?’ i said, ‘i didn’t want to disappoint you, i just don’t like the stuff.’ he said, ‘you insult me.’ i said, ‘no, you didn’t invent the stuff, you just sell it. i’m sorry if i’m not lying to you but it tastes bad. maybe you like it but i don’t.’

it ended like that. it was a little too abrupt for my taste but it’ll have to do. i can’t help it if i’m not a big energy drink fan but i probably should have put on my happy face and told him how wonderful it was. strings of white lies, however, somehow end up choking.