-^-for posterity-^-

we ate christmas dinner at a small, western cafe yesterday. it was quaint and dark and, for a moment, i wasn't in vietnam. i walked through the doors of the restaurant and felt free for a moment. i sat down and ate bread with butter and remembered hundreds of meals back home.

we were sitting among the expats. there were about thirty of us in the room from a variety of different countries. we ate quietly at first, enjoying the food and the escapism. as the meal wore on and the turkey came, our conversations warmed and we began talking to one another. the chats were informal and friendly at first. 'what are you doing here?' 'how long have you been here?' 'how long are you planning on staying here?'

then, the conversation shifted. one person, an older man with wispy hair, would make a comment about how long he has been in vietnam. then another person, a young, overweight girl, would slyly add that she has been living in south-east asia for so many years. then, another man would talk about how long he lived in spain and a girl would talk about europe. they conversations would fly past each other and no one would hear what anyone else was saying. the comments were made to impress but they were not heard. no one bothered to ask anyone else a single question about anything. everyone was too busy rambling on about their lives. no one was exchanging wisdom or insight, they were all simply listing their achievements. the last half of the meal amounted to everyone reading their curriculum vitae aloud. it was a tornado of egos.

as the conversation shifted, my attention waned and i started to think about other things. i started thinking about family and how much fun i would have had at home. i started to really miss the tradition, the family and the friends. i also started to miss vietnam. i walked out the door and listened to the whizzing motorcycles and felt more free than ever.