-^-for posterity-^-

every time i send an email i imagine what the weather is like in america. i say, 'bet the leaves are turning', or, 'wonder how cold it's getting', or, 'wow, i guess spring's just around the corner.'

besides the fact that i'm getting more and more corny as days pass, i'm being quite serious.

before writing those brief lines, i always shut my eyes and try to imagine home. the beginning of december was always a disappointment for me when i was a child. i always assumed that it should be colder or that we should be having snow, which would obviously cancel classes. i used to bundle up and be frustrated that we couldn't play football in the back yard. the ground was usually getting too hard. only rarely did it snow.

when i was older, the beginning of december was a beautiful time. i used to wear plain sweaters and dark coats. i used to wear beanies and gloves. i enjoyed looking at the naked trees. they were skeletons without their leaves. the hard ground didn't bother me because i never bothered to play outside in the grass. the cool air was biting and reminded me that i was alive. the frost on the car window in the morning was art.

the closer winter comes to pennsylvania, the more i miss home. i was walking around this morning fairly early and something in the air felt like a beautiful july morning. i reminisced back to the days i would get up early for work. i remembered so much. still, i do miss days walking around covered in thick clothes. i miss seeing my breath and naked trees. i miss the hard ground and opening your window when you're driving to feel a rush of freezing air push past you and through the car.