-^-for posterity-^-

another vietnamese wedding.

one of the teachers at the university was going to get married. we were invited because we are albino tigers. we are special. they put us in a cage.

we sat at the most important table. we sat with administrators and other folks who were to be known. we were supposed to sit and look pretty. we, at times, were supposed to say witty phrases in vietnamese to woo everyone else. they made us do tricks and made us eat things. we were special, but in sigmund and freud kind of way. we did our tricks and pleased our superiors.

the wedding was held on the second floor of the most posh hotel in long xuyen. it’s called the dong xuyen hotel and it sits right next to the grey catholic church. it has a giant blue neon sign. it has a breakfast buffet where, for 10,000 dong, you can eat all you want and have waiters and waitresses serve you in bow ties.

the room was crowded. there were televisions in every corner. one man with a video camera watched everyone and it was fed through those televisions. we, the white tigers, were filmed a number of times doing tricks.

the wedding began. the bride and groom walked out of a silver elevator. there was a lady coordinating everything. she wore a pink ao dai and looked rather like cotton candy. she told us how happy she was, the families were and how happy the hotel was to have this wedding. we were all happy to hear it.

the father and mother of the bride and groom both walked to the front of the room. the groom’s father wore a very fat tie and his collar was well undone. the bride’s father wore a white button up shirt that had two buttons missing. he also had a pair of sun glasses hanging from his neck. the two mothers were wearing ao dai dresses. all four of them had no expression on their faces. they stood their as their children were about to walk down the ‘aisle’ and they were emotionless. maybe something was going on under the hood, but nothing was showing on the outside.

the bride and groom appeared from a silver elevator. the music changed. the girl in the pink ao dai would speak in short sentences. they would be interrupted by bursts from the sound system. they were playing some sort of guitar solo from the mid 1980’s. she would say, ‘we would like to welcome the happy couple!’ and then a guitar would come bursting forth. she would say something else and another guitar would play. the couple walked down the aisle.

the bride was wearing a dress that looked like cellophane and glitter all wrapped up in one. if she got caught in a fire, the whole dress would melt on her. she wore small, see-through gloves and high, white shoes.

they reached the front of the room. in the front of the room there were the two sets of parents standing somberly. there were also balloons. the balloons were pink, yellow and blue. there was also a tower of champagne glasses.

when they reached the front of the room, everyone applauded.

then things turned macabre.

the music changed. instead of being guitar solos, we heard the them from titanic. celine dion at her finest. the lyrics played as the two were married. here is what happened:


Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on

the couple stood behind the tower of champagne glasses. they opened a bottle champagne and made sure to point the cork towards the ceiling. then, the two of them poured the bottle onto the tower of glasses. the crowd stood silent. they opened three bottles on the glasses.

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on

the couple moved back to the middle of the stage. huge amounts of confetti went off. the father and mother of the bride and groom stood silent. they acted as if nothing happened. the confetti poured over everyone and the bride and groom looked around for what they should do next.

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

they moved to the cake. it was a three-story cake and they cut all three levels. the father and mother of the bride and groom were looking on but expressionless. the bride and groom cut awkwardly with a large knife. we were all beginning to hate celine dion.

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're one

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

the bubbles came. somewhere, from the ceiling, there was a bubble machining. the bubbles were the same kind of bubbles that i would have made as a child. they poured over the stoic parents and the happy bride and groom. the bubbles and the champagne tower and the balloons and everything was kitsch. i didn’t know how to react except to smile and clap. i didn’t really know when the couple was married. everything was so absurd and surreal that i don’t think anyone knew when the couple was married.

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

and that was the wedding. we ate, the bride and groom walked around to every table and we were finished. i’m still not sure when they actually married. however, i am sure that neither the father or mother of the bride or groom was particularly happy with all the glitz and glamour.