-^-for posterity-^-

i was in english lit when i looked down at my watch to see what day it was. i don’t know why i did it. i saw the numbers '9-11' and my heart actually beat faster. those numbers are deeply engrained in some valley in my brain.

i asked them about sept 11. i talked about what i was doing two years ago. i talked about bluffton. i had a morning class, it started at 7. i was coming home from it at about 8:30 and i saw a bunch of burly guys gathered in the lobby of our dorm. i thought, 'there isn't any important game on today, is there?' they were watching cnn. i sat there for the next four hours or so watching tv and wondering if this was some terrible movie or if someone was playing a prank. it was all too elaborate for that. the black smoke burned and news anchors talked about attacks, speculation, arabs and the like.

the students said that they were shocked too. they talked about reading it in newspapers and seeing it on tv. they talked about the tragedy of it all. some fo the students were a bit more skeptical. they said the us had it coming to them and that, while they felt bad about it, they didn't think that the us should have been so shocked. some called it a 'warning' and said that, if the us didn't shape up, surely more attacks would follow.

i felt curious leaving class. i kept thinking back a year and trying tot remember what was going on. i remember seeing american flags everywhere. i remember watching the news and seeing headlines like, 'attack on america.' i remember thinking that i should be afraid but not really feeling any fear. my youthful indestructibility got in the way. i remember driving down to georgia and counting the number of american flags we saw. i belive it was in the four hundred range. i remember 'united we stand' bulletin boards. that's something you'd see in pyongyang. i remember going up to 'ground zero' over the following thanksgiving. i remember watching all the vultures selling hats and shirts and signs beside the twisted mass of rubble. i remember reading an advertisement painted on a banner near by. 'don't miss the such and such bar. bin-laden did, don’t make the same mistake!' i remember trying not to puke out of rage.

i went to my business class and asked what day it was. a sweet old lady stood up and explained to me that it was the mid-autumn festival. this was the day that mooncakes were popular and children played with lanterns. i reminded her about september 11th. we talked about the day in depth.

these people have seen the world. they knew war and understood history. these people were bright. i wanted to know what they thought about the attacks. most of them said the us had it coming to them. they didn't say it in a spiteful way, they said it mater-o-factly. they said it with expressionless faces. they said it and their voices were free from contempt, jealousy and rage. they just said it because they thought it was true.

we talked about terrorism. what constituted terrorism? our running definition dealt with harming non-combatants. if you killed innocents, you were a terrorist. we talked about the my lai massacre in vietnam. we talked about the bombing of hanoi. we talked about the bombing of bagdhad. we talked about september 11. everyone empathized with the situation and felt terribly for america. they said america was powerful and that it should work on doing the world a bit more good. they said that america needed to stop hurting the rest of the world economically. one man talked a lot about how economics played into september 11th. what he said did make a good deal of sense.

i asked them to write a brief essay about what they would have done if they were president of the us after the attacks. would they have gone to war? against who? when? here is what they said:

‘firstly, i would form an alliance to fight against terrorism worldwide. i would also change policies towards developing nations especially muslim nations. i would help poor nations improve their economic situations, to train human resources and give them more humanitarian aid. thirdly, i would trust the un and give it a more important role in resolving big problems relating to developing countries. finally, i would use the economic power of the usa to enhance the growth of the global economy. i think it is the best way to prevent terrorism from attacking the usa.’

‘i wouldn’t have gone to war in afghanistan or iraq because the people living there have their families, their countries they are human and they are innocent especially the children. american armies resist terrorism but they become the terrorists because of their actions.’

‘i would go all around the world to discuss with the leaders of the countries about solutions to solve he above event. these solutions must be suitable for benefits to the usa people.’

‘firstly, i would have apologized to my citizens for my responsibility. then, i would recheck the national security system. i would also wonder ‘who did this? why?’’

‘if i were the president of the united states i wouldn’t react, only review my policies, my opportunities with other nations. i should think that they attacked the us because it fighted with other countries before. i would ask myself, ‘why didn’t they attack another nation besides the united states?’’

‘i would be more charitable, donate more to african countries, overcome starvation, help poor countries, developing countries, stop exploiting resources of other countries, stop putting the nose in other business. i think these are good ways to protect america.’

‘in that situation i would want to feel angry but because of being president, i couldn’t be angry to cause a war with any country because terrorists are faceless.’