-^-for posterity-^-

another movie night, less of a debacle.

the sound worked but it didn’t matter. people filed in the room and laughed and giggled. i game my cursory speech and everyone smiled and clapped. the movie began. it was in french. why didn’t the sound work when we were showing an english film.

things work like this: to start something new, you have to propose things over and over. you have to talk to people and meet them for coffee and talk to them again. you have to write things and sign them. it takes months. finally, they agree.

after they have agreed, things move incredibly smoothly. now, if i want to change something, it’s as easy as telling one person and he will tell everyone else. at first i had to explain every aspect of movie night. i had to give my motivations and purpose. i had to describe each movie we were going to show. now i can change movies or times or anything and nothing matters. there is much more of an entrance barrier but, after you’ve moved past that, things seem to change more smoothly.

the room fills and we all watch the movie play. i sit and grade papers and generally worry about what work i have to do for tomorrow. nothing seems to change and work is perpetual. tomorrow i work. sunday i prepare. monday i work more and the following week the cycle continues. every day there is something and there will always be something until i am too old to move another bone in my body and i die. then the work will end. then all my questions will be answered. i will be judged or i will sleep.

the students aren’t thinking about that. they’re studying english and watching a movie. they worry about their grades, their families and their friends. everything else is as cursory as the speech i gave.