-^-for posterity-^-

yesterday was the vu lan holiday. it’s basically buddhist mother’s day, invented long before hallmark was around. well, i heard two stories. one person told me the holiday originated when a young girl went off to be a buddhist nun. she worked her whole life and was an excellent nun. her mother, on the other hand, was an evil woman. she did everything that one could do to be down right terrible. she died one day and her daughter was distraught. she could barely stand the thought of her mother spending the rest of her life in the underworld so she created this holiday to celebrate her life. she prayed every day for her mother’s forgiveness.

i went to pray for my mother’s forgiveness today. i went a number of times.

the day started early in the morning when we were picked up by some students. they took us to a pagoda and drove remarkably slow. the pagoda was a quiet building surrounded by flamboyantly green rice paddies. the farmers were bent over and appeared still, silent, as if in a picture. the early morning sun was cutting a path through the thickly-leaved trees. the shadows danced as the wind blew. the sun would beam through the shadows and bounce off of the incense. the streaks of light were like the fingers of god.

we walked into the main building, removed our shoes, were handed flaming incense sticks and proceeded to pray. i prayed for many things, including my mother.

on the vu lan holiday, one is not allowed to eat meat and the convent is happy to give away free vegetarian food. the nuns with their shaved heads and grey robes all walked about handing people bowls of rice and soup. people ate happily and everything felt festive.

we left and spent the rest of the day working and sleeping. at night, i was invited to go pray again.

we prayed at a pagoda in the middle of long xuyen. the pagoda was trapped between two industrial buildings and didn’t seem peaceful. it was built up off of the ground and was circular. people were everywhere. you couldn’t fight through the crowd even if you wanted to. you had to simply let the crowd dictate where you were going. we marched up some steps and entered the main sanctuary where we removed our shoes and were given more incense sticks. we prayed again.

we walked around the building and found a poster on the wall. i was with five or six vietnamese friends who didn’t know english so they tried to explain its significance. it showed what would happen to you if you died. first of all, if you were bad, you went to a type of hell. there, if you were good, you went to heaven. if you were bad again, you went to a place that, as depicted, was plagued by starvation and malnourishment. if you were good when you died, you went to a higher form of heaven where the “phat” god’s lived. there were a number of other spaces that they couldn’t explain to me or i simply didn’t understand.

i spent the day floating in incense smoke which carried the prayers of people to god. i’m sure some of the residue was still on me when i went to sleep. i slept covered in the powdered prayers of others and myself. maybe they’ll wash off in my morning shower, travel down to the river, evaporate and finally float up to the sky.