-^-for posterity-^-

we went to eat with some friends yesterday. we ate at a restaurant that had small, bamboo huts placed carefully over ponds. they were separated by large, lush mango trees. the wind blew and it rained a number of times.

one of my friend’s cousins ate with us. he left vietnam in the late eighties and this was his first time back. he was basically raised in the states having only spent ten years of his life in vietnam. he was absurdly fat and his hair was luridly bleached. he had a smart, round face. it seemed to expand as he spoke. he wore a shirt with a number of flowers on it and didn’t bother to button the top three or four buttons. i hadn’t seen that much cleavage in ages.

we talked and had a nice meal. normally, when i meet people who have been raised in america but are vietnamese in nationality, they treat me poorly and tell me things that don’t interest me in the least. we meet them in restaurants. it’s really impossible to pick them out of a crowd, they normally wave you over and a conversation goes something like this:

-hey man!
-hi.
-hey, my name’s alex and i’m from california.
-oh, yea?
-yea man. i left this place about twenty years ago and have been working in california. my whole family lives there.
-really. (this is an odd way to start a conversation in a restaurant and, i assure you, i’m not elaborating.)
-yup. i just came back to visit, i don’t live here. it’s nice to be back every once in a while but i like the states more.
-(silence, my eyes dart from left to right trying to think of a plausible reason for leaving)
-so, what’s your name, man? where are you from?
-i’m jon. i’m from near philadelphia.
-oh, yea? what are you doing here? traveling?
-no, i’m a teacher over at an giang university.
-that’s nice. i went to school in the states. got a bachelors but it took me six years. i like the schools in america.
-well, nice talking to you. i’ve got to go and meet someone. (the most general excuse ever. my crocodile brain can never come up with anything too witty. i’m always afraid it’ll backfire. ‘i’ve gotta meet someone’ could go anywhere. it could mean that i hope to meet someone soon because this conversation is going nowhere. that’s what it really means, i guess.)
-right jon. nice meeting you man. hope you stay safe here and i bet you can’t wait to get back home.
-(a comment so brazen deserves a response even if i’m dreading further conversation) well, i actually really like it here. i miss family and stuff back home but this place is wonderful.
-really?
-yep.
-(silence on their part. they’re wondering if i’m serious or not.)
-well, take care.

that’s a fairly normal conversation with someone who was raised in america and then found themselves back in their home town. they would like me to know that they are not like everyone else. they magically bridge both cultures. they come here to see things as a person goes to the zoo.

this man was not like them and it was incredibly refreshing. he talked about how wonderful it was to be back home. he missed vietnam. he loved the place. he talked about the lifestyle and the people and the community. people spent free days sitting around and forging relationships. people didn’t kill themselves working too hard. people cared about their families. people knew about community.

we sat under the thatched roof of our little hut waiting to leave. it started to rain and waited. i sat back and watched the sky open up and the pond jump and bubble. no one spoke and no one needed to.