-^-for posterity-^-

in vietnam there are two types of girls. some girls are "hien" and some girls are "du dan".

"hien" girls are shy. they only speak when spoken to. they look at the ground and suck in their cheeks. they peek up with big, brown eyes and look sad or innocent. when they do speak it's only in the most muffled tones. you see their mouths moving but no sound is produced. you have to move your head closer to their mouths to hear anything. you have to ask them to repeat, repeat, repeat. they wear the most conservative clothes. they wear ao dai. they sit straight and ride motorcycles side saddle. these are the rural girls. this is the zenith of beauty. the quiet, shy, innocent girls are the most attractive. if she's got white skin, she's even better.

i can be quite cynical about "hien" girls. my culture dictates that beauty is something else entirely. i remember shy, innocent, quiet girls from high school. they weren't the most attractive. the most attractive girls were the ones that stood out from the rest of the group. the most attractive girls were the girls that took charge and lead with confidence as opposed to following meekly. i am surrounded by "hien" girls.

girls who are "du dan" are much more overt. for better or for worse, they exhibit western qualities. these girls are the ones that take charge and lead with confidence. these are the girls that voice their opinions. these are the girls who speak loud enough for all to hear.

mostly, these girls can be found in urban areas. they are the saigon girls working hard from morning to supper and then going to school at night. these are the girls who left their parents when they graduated high school to find adventure in the big city. the city is full of "du dan" and the country is full of "hien".

as i understand this culture, there isn't a distinction for boys. most of the men exhibit similar characteristics: they are outgoing, friendly, loud, always smiling and definitely not afraid to take the reins.

the different cultures obviously have different standards of beauty. while university girls in america go to taning salons, girls here cover themselves head to toe in order to stay pasty white. girls here try to be "hien" and girls at home can't help but be "du dan". i think i'll always be attracted to "du dan" girls.