Wednesday, September 25, 2002

"before he knew it, (mai van) on was in the water, clinging to a bamboo pole and paddling toward the injured pilot, who was tangled in, and weighted down by, his heavy gear and was in danger of drowning. (mai van) on, with several others, pulled (senator john) mccain to shore. an angry crowd poured out of the small brick homes... and beat mccain with rifle butts and dticks. 'please don't kill him,' (mai van) on pleaded with the mob. 'he is nearly dead already. we must turn him in.' the crowd backed away and the police arrived to cart mccain to prison, where he would spend five years as a pow." vietnam, now. david lamb.

today, i visited the infamous 'hanoi hilton'. i didn't know what to expect but felt uneasy and excited. i thought, because of my heritage, that it would be full of stories of downed american pilots. i imagined room after room of american pictures and vietnamese torture devices. these pilots were heroes. it turns out that the museum focused on the torture of vietnamese anti-colonialists at the hands of the french. every room displayed torture devices and starkly pale mannequins. the suffering was somehow fresh. suffering that furrows the brow and spoils the soul.

there was one picture that caught my attention, though. it was senator john mccain. he looked disgruntled, as only one could look after being shot down in enemy territory. now i had finally found the american suffering. the suffering for freedom and the blood shed for liberty. he did not look like the 'compassionate conservative' statesman we all know and love.

i returned home and flipped on cnn. there's something strange about living in hanoi and watching cnn and mtv. no matter where i go, i'm not out of the icy grasp of western culture. anyway, there was john mccain talking to lary king. what a day: hanoi, the hanoi hilton and john mccain. it turns out that he was hawking the war with iraq. now this put me over the edge. i thought that surly he, if anyone, would not be hawking a war to which there were obvious diplomatic solutions. surely he, who's life was saved by a vietnamese peasant, would want to find other solutions to these problems that did not involve more death. didn't he remember how it felt when his plane smashed into the lake? couldn't he feel the thick air and smell the smoke? didn't the safety harness dig into his ribs?

had he forgotten the death and pain that he witnessed? maybe he needs to visit hanoi again. maybe the flight over the city would trigger memories of bombs slowly gliding to their final resting place. maybe he needs to look a poor vietnamese woman in the eyes as she tries to sell him an apple. maybe he would remember. his life was spared because of the compassion of the weak. his life was spared. the least he could do is attempt to spare the lives of others. diplomacy is still a viable option.

i am confused. john mccain was shown ultimate grace and mercy. he suffered, undoubtedly, but was sparred. surely he must have learned about mercy, grace and peace. surely he must understand that there are other options.

"'what's done is done' (mai van) on said... 'i never hated americans, only the american government. but the war's past now. it belonged to my generation, not my sons'. i never regretted saving mr. mccain, though a lot of people wanted to kill your pilot that day.'"

compassion, grace and mercy.

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