-^-for posterity-^-

here, in the sunny, tropical heat of vietnam, the best time to shower is from 10:00-3:00 in the morning/afternoon.

my bathroom has one pale blue showerhead flimsily attached to the wall. the head is connected to a nozzle about a foot off the ground. there is one knob i can turn to make water come out. there is no red knob and, when i arrived, i never thought there would be any use for one. i thought cool, refreshing showers would be the only thing i would ever need to take. who wouldn’t want to take a cool shower after walking around in hundred degree weather with million percent humidity?

i used to take showers in the morning. i would stumble into the bathroom, grumble something to myself in the small, six inch square mirror i have on the bathroom wall and hop in. it would be cold but anyone could easily handle it after sweating through the night.

agh, how things have changed.

i can no longer stand to take showers in the morning. i find them painfully cold and miserable. i end up walking around my warm room shivering and wet. i end up pathetic.

here are some tips for grooming and bathing once you have acclimated yourself to the climate here:
-take showers after your morning classes are over.
-amble into the bathroom and lather your face with shaving cream.
-shave slowly and pay close attention because the mirror is so small and razors are normally sharp.
-if you cut yourself while shaving, no matter, take a shower, enjoy the strange burning sensation and thank the heavens that you are still alive and can feel pain.
-do not run the water continuously because that’s terrible and annoys me greatly when you’re shaving.
-turn the shower on and watch the dog run under the bed. he knows that when the shower is running there is about a 20% chance that i will try to shoo him from under the bed and make him stand in the bathtub with his ears down and his tail between his legs looking thoroughly humiliated while i bath him with scented shampoo and assert my authority as the alpha male in said relationship.
-enjoy the warm water that is heated by the sun. the water canisters are located on the roof and they’re made out of something silver and the sun does a great job of warming them up.
-wash thoroughly as your mother taught you when you were a child and played in the bubble bath with little toys.
-wash your hair and behind your ears.
-towel off and smile at yourself in the mirror. remember that you cut yourself while shaving and you have a small red patch of raw skin under your lip. take a small piece of toilet paper and put it on the cut. remember all the sunday mornings you ate breakfast with your father when he had a similar piece of bloody tissue somewhere on his face. look longingly up at the corner of the room in a fruitless hope to harness a memory and take it for a ride. remember that you will never be as old as your father and that you are, buy all accounts, invincible.
-change into clean clothes and go about your daily activities.
-repeat this at least once a day, or any time you are quite sweaty and/or stinky.