-^-for posterity-^-

troi oi!

it was bound to happen. i mean, i guess i could have passed it off but, what would that have made me? i guess i accepted the inevitable and went with it.

ms. ha called me the other day. she wondered if i wanted to go out to eat with her on sunday night. i obliged. she wanted me to try dog meat.

we met near my university and walked to a restaurant that she knew. the walk was long and she explained dog to me. you see, she loves her dog. it’s white, shaggy and very compassionate. her eyes flicker when she talks about him. she would never eat her dog because the meat wasn’t any good. there are only special breeds of dog that are meaty enough to satiate the vietnamese palate. she also said that she would like to eat cat. she explained that the government didn’t allow the selling of cat meat because cats were good at catching rats.

i couldn’t make this up if i tried.

i was excited and very, very hesitant upon entering the restaurant. it was dimly lit and there was no sign out front. i really didn’t want to eat dog either. being a vegetarian for a couple of years has really shaped me. meat isn’t a requirement for healthy living and dog is no exception. i still had to try it. what kind of an adventurous person would i be if i didn’t?

the place was about a ten minute walk away. we sat on small seats surrounded by old men. ms. ha explained to me that eating dog meat was a man’s job. oh, ok. everyone stared at us and ms. ha didn’t know what to order. the waiter helped her through the menu and finally our supper arrived. a large plate of leaves was placed next to a large dish of shrimp sauce. the dog arrived. it was cut into small cubes and simmered with some dark sauce. small pieces of flesh covered on one side by a thin layer of fat and another layer of leathery skin. we were instructed to put one piece of dog flesh onto a leaf. we then would grip both the leaf and the flesh with out chopsticks and dip it into the shrimp sauce. the meat would float around in my mouth for a bit. it was tough and warm. it didn’t taste too strongly. i mostly noticed the mint flavor of the leave and the spicy flavor of the shrimp sauce. the layer of skin that covered each piece was terrible. it was like chewing through worn pieces of rubber.

ms. ha asked me why we didn’t eat dog in america. i couldn’t quite figure it out. we eat most other animals without aversion but dogs seem to be holy. cats too. maybe it’s cause dogs are man’s best friend. (women should be occupied with cooking and cleaning mind you. their best friend is the dustpan and broom)

(sarcasm)

she ordered another dish. i asked what she asked for and she said, “fried dog inside.” what? it turned out that it was a dish full of the fried innards of our canine friend. they were wrapped in the intestine and fried. the concept is similar to scrapple except, with scrapple, there is decent flavor. with fried dog innards, there is something lacking. they were cut into small pieces that were brown and curled. i ate the liver, kidney and heart of dear ole poochie wrapped in it’s own colon. ew.

ms. ha noticed that i didn’t enjoy the fried innards so she ordered another dish. she whispered to the waiter, “do you sell cat meat here?” it was illegal, i knew. oh, to eat both cat and dog meat for the first time at the same meal! the waiter looked to his left and right but reluctantly shook his head. no cat for me tonight.

ms. ha ordered our final dish. it was just plain ole, grilled dog meat. we wrapped it in the leaves and dipped it in shrimp sauce but the leathery skin was still the same. you couldn’t eat a piece of dog without chewing for at least a solid minute.

so, tonight, i learned that dogs can make meals. not wonderful meals but meals none the less. my stomach is uneasy. i keep imagining dogs frolicking in my stomach. agh!