-^-for posterity-^-

today i went to vung tau with ms. ha. i was excited and knew nothing about the place. we woke up early and hopped on a small city bus. the first thing someone said to me as i was crouching, trying to stand up, not hit my head and hold on to something at the same time was, “you are very strong.” it’s always nice to start a day off with a random compliment like that.

we reached the bus station and bought tickets for what would turn out to be a four hour trip. the seats in these busses are narrow and small and they pack as many people in them as possible. it is impossible for me to sit down without being thoroughly uncomfortable after 15 minutes. also, one must get used to being constantly touching someone else. shoulders are always pressed hard up against your neighbor on either side. when you sleep you just choose a neighbor and lean on them. i was disturbed at the beginning of the ride when someone placed their hand uncomfortably high on my thigh. they kept it there too. i decided that i should get used to it and gave up worrying.

arriving at vung tau with ms. ha is quite an experience. since she has been there, i let her take complete charge. she walks around and hires xe oms (the motorcycle taxis that one must argue with) and decides where we’re going. she moves quickly and i sweat trying to keep up. what a motley crew we are: she is a poor housekeeper in her mid 30’s (looks a bit older) and i’m a young, tall white person who looks like he’s 18. she hired two xe oms and they took us to the beach.

oh, the air felt so fresh there! the wind pressed against your face and flew through your hair and everything was so light. the city air weighs heavy on your lungs but this air is fresh and it feels icy blue. the beach was home to a large row of buildings that served as hotels, eateries and houses. they were very close to the water and they were built firmly in the sand.

what is there to do in vung tau since we weren’t going to the beach? the answer is this: a ’40 foot tall jesus standing on the top of a mountain. what on earth. in buddhist vietnam, ancestral venerating vietnam, there is a ’40 foot tall jesus at the top of a mountain. we walked up the road that led to this huge statue. the road followed the shore. the waves were to our left and jesus was to our right.

before making it to the statue, we had to stop off at a very small beach for a bit. she wanted to walk in the water. this turned out to be some exclusive tourist beach and there were about 15 very fat german men in speedos wading through the shallows like pale hippos. ms. ha walked down to the shore and stood in ankle deep water. she just stood there and watched the germans. she had to hold her pants up the whole time but she just stood there watching. i wonder what she was thinking. i must have fallen asleep because, before i knew it, i was surrounded by guttural german men drinking beer. ms. ha was still standing in the water. a few more germans walked out of the sea. i couldn’t stop looking at them. they walked more left to right then straight ahead. they seemed to be waddling their way up to the safety of the umbrellas and beach chairs. i would say that they might have had sand in their swimsuits but i don’t think much else could fit in those speedos.

we finally made it to jesus. now, as i have said, he was waiting for us patiently at the top of a mountain so there was a good deal of hiking to do. the first thing i noticed on the way up the mountain was that there were benches everywhere and they all had a name on them with a location. they must have been bought by people sympathetic to the cause of this giant jesus. i noticed many benches from philadelphia. there was also west chester, downingtown, and new york to name a few. we started hiking up the mountain.

now jesus was looking out over a small peninsula. he was a very white statue with his hands outstretched and his head slightly bowed. it gave me two impressions: the crucifixion and the herding of sheep. i was feeling neither guilty or lost so i left it go. this jesus had a strikingly narrow nose and very large, round eyes. i was surprised that he didn’t look at all vietnamese.

when we reached the top, after sweating and resting a few times, we found jesus was surrounded by some very important things. initially, a statue of mary holding a dead version of jesus. i passed that quickly and moved on to the roses. there were all sorts of pots and vases holding beautiful red roses. there was no one around and being alone with ms. ha, such a large jesus and so many roses made me strangely uncomfortable. i crossed my arms.

there were two huge guns at either side of jesus. once again, i couldn’t make this up if i tried. they were probably from the french because they were very old and looked overgrown. i’m sure jesus could have figured out how to use them if the opportunity arose. behind the two huge guns that were literally underneath jesus’ right and left hands were huge monkey cages. actually, many small monkey cages holding many angry monkeys. i walked up to the cage with some absurd image of monkeys in my head. aren’t they curious? and very funny? and always throwing things and laughing?

the cages were full of dead things. the monkeys were alive but most things in their cages were rotting and putrid. i walked up to one of the cages that held a large yellow monkey. haha, a silly yellow monkey. he came over to the side of the cage to talk to me. the cage was narrow here and he couldn’t put his hand through. he edged over to the other side of the cage. i followed and giggled. i took out my camera and got very close to the cage. i was focusing my lense when, “thwap!” and “*expletive*!” the monkey had lured me to the side of the cage with the wider netting. he had reached out and hit me on the top of my head very hard and grabbed a tuft of my hair. he ran in the other corner of the cage clutching it and smelling it. my head really hurt. stupid monkey.

i wondered for a fleeting moment if i could have gotten some disease from the monkey. i then realized that i was standing under a ’40 high jesus.

we waited for the statue to open. oh yea, it opens and you can climb up and perch on his arms! you can stand on the shoulder of jesus and look down on all of nature and humanity! surely that yellow monkey had never stood on the shoulder of jesus!

finally, jesus was opened. there were only 8 tourists there counting me and ms. ha. i was the only white face. the door to jesus lies right between his ankles. you must take your shoes off to enter. they keep jesus’ vital stone inner-workings very clean. climbing up this statue was amazing. the steps are very narrow and circular. it felt like we were climbing up jesus’ intestine. we arrived at the shoulder. we ended up sitting on his left shoulder, not his right shoulder but, technically, if jesus is sitting at the right hand of god, we would want to be on the left shoulder to be closer to god so it all worked out in the end.

the wind picked up around us and felt wonderful. the sun beat down on me and i can tell i got burnt. it didn’t matter though. we stood up there not saying anything for a long time. the ocean churned underneath us and houses stretched on until they reached the horizon. it was a beautiful moment.

i don’t really think that jesus would have wanted a ’40 foot statue of him standing on a mountain with two big guns under each of his hands and a bunch of disgruntled monkeys ready to take out their aggression on any human that they can lure into their deadly grasp. i also don’t think ho chi minh wanted such a huge mausoleum. also, colonel sanders didn’t want himself to be portrayed as a silly cartoon character. it’s interesting what we do with people after their not around. we change their character to suit our needs. i guess we’re just inherently selfish.