today i got one wisdom tooth removed.

that seems to be the way my summer has gone. surgery on my face, root canals and now wisdom tooth removal. the effects and affects of these surgeries are not known.

i'm going to mcc orientation on this coming tuesday. ill be there for two weeks and then will fly out of philadelphia on teh 18th at around six o'clock at night. the orientation process will be interesting. i don't know what to expect but i imagine much introspection and personality tests. surely we will also learn about mennonite's historic affiliation with peace and justice (which i will certainly enjoy thoroughly) but i have a funny feeling that when i look too deeply into myself, i begin to see the same things over and over again. i'm not afraid of what i'll find because i feel as though i have a fairly good understanding of what lies under my outer façades. what i do fear is redundancy. i feel that i may end up analyzing the same personality trait from too many different angles. maybe i am only concerned about the orientation process for the sake of having something to be concerned about.

i also have not had any considerable physical reactions when i think about vietnam. before i went to spain i would get very nervous. now, i sit back and try to imagine what my life will be like over there. my perception is full of so many misconceptions that i am obligated to stop imagining. i'm sure that i will be full of nervous anticipation on wednesday the 18th. leaving home will be much like having a wisdom tooth pulled: severing roots is painful but the long-term benefits are obvious.

what is my motivation?

it is exactly one week before i begin my orientation. i've been thinking about getting ready and preparing things for the past week and a half and have come to no real conclusions regarding what i plan on getting out of this experience or what i plan on putting into this experience. it's been a real mix of emotions.

on one hand, i am very excited about leaving the country and getting into another culture where i know nothing. i hope that it will completely change my world perspective. on the other hand, i really have had strong feelings towards my home area and my friends here. it will be difficult to move out and start all over again. my feelings are much more complex than two hands. however, for the sake of my analogy, two hands are all that i am able to deal with and this shall be the extent of my example.

i will write much more extensivly when i arrive in lush land of lore.

tonight i went to the landes'.

again i feel obligated to continue on with this even though it appears to have no purpose.

today was another day full of frustration. i set up my appointment for getting my wisdom teeth removed. this procedure should take three separate visits and should inconvenience me greatly. i also got glasses for the first time in my entire life today at (drum roll please) wal-mart. talk about a lack of congruity. i read a book about three months ago that gave the most detailed (and unglorified) account of the man, the legend, the demigod, sam walton. i learned a ton about how he uses the "buy american" propaganda while over 80% of his clothes are made outside of the us, how his corporation rates as one of the lowest in philanthropy. well, in any case, i guess the laws of economics dealt me a trump card: lowest price wins.

other than that, i don't think anyone will read this. it feels like i'm putting this out on the web for myself. i guess jason might read it, or maybe dad some day but other than that, i don't think anyone else will find this bit of my life.

right now i don't think i need to wear these glasses. right now i don't think i need to have my wisdom tooth removed. right now i don't think i need to organize my clothing. right now i don't think i need to go to vietnam. right now i'm sure i can't stay here.
i need a dharma bum to take me away to the zen moutians again.

i continue with this insanity:

dear family, my fate has been sealed these last few days. i have been wading through my thoughts regarding leaving and i find myself, at times, neck deep. these times are remedied, however. i continue to trudge on.

to show myself that leaving this country is a good idea, i decided to watch MTV and MTV2. if anyone wants to feel poorly about how they appear, these modes of communication are the way to go. by calling them modes of communication, i am giving them too much credit. the word "communication" implies (in my interpretation) that there are two parties at work. these are nothing more than opinion and mood shapers. i watched the beautiful people strut around and sing songs that have less than no meaning. the mindlessness of the whole process made time slip by quickly. much too quickly.
also, it must be terrible to be famous. looking at life as infinite we can see that their fame is doomed to failure. they are doomed to fall off of their pedestal either due to death or a career ending incident. (at least i would view fame this way) since they are not changing anything for the better, the whole point of being famous is narcissistic. therefore, since it is inevitable that they are to fall, the famous person must make the most of the situation. i would end up thinking only about my fall and not worrying about the real point of my fame: love-of-self. finally, i could never be famous because i would end up focusing on the selfish, finite nature of my fame. i also could never love myself so thoroughly.
well, these initial webpost things are nothing more than ramblings to assert myself on this page. i am claiming my territory: back off. if anyone else wants one of these things they can easily have one. this is for family and friends to help them understand my experiences in vietnam. since i have yet to travel there, this page is doomed to be a grouping of tragic thoughts. *sigh*

ok, i guess i should eventually post something of worth. i read about this crazy blog idea in a couple of magazines and thought it was a pretty stupid idea. i then proceeded to visit the website and read some people's entries. i found out that i was exactly correct initially: this idea is really stupid. if one ever has the slightest masochistic desire at all i would suggest that they visit one of these websites. they are mindless drivel and thoughtless rubbish. i wish them all vanquished. the irony here is obvious. i am using this crazy blog idea to criticize the blog idea. this is the absolute zenith of post-modern thinking. this is exactly like the time kevin found something inappropriately sarcastic and responded "oh, THAT wasn't sarcastic".
well, i plan to use this medium of communication to relay basic understandings and thoughts regarding my experience in Vietnam. I am traveling to Hanoi in about two weeks and thought that this blog thing would provide anyone interested (the throngs) thorough information on my journey. I plan to update this regularly with my experiences. (albeit, not as much as some of these fanatics) this mainly will be for the mollification of my parents but all are welcome to check in every once in a great while to see how life is progressing on the other side of the globe. For those of you who don't know exactly what i'll be doing i'll briefly explain. there is a university in southern vietnam called an giang university located in the province of the same name. this place just opened and the faculty is very young. i will be traveling there and aiding them in their english studies as well as helping them with technology. there will also be work in the development of curriculum. that is all. i will be the only american (to my limited knowledge) in the whole province and i will live at the university.

i set this up because it saves me much time: there are no mass emails to construct and people can come and go at their will.

I keep trying to change this stupid title. I guess even the internet gods have conspired against me.

I changed a thing.

This is the initial test-post for this experiment. I am excited beyond what my wildest dreams have ever conjured.