i was picked up at my home. we drove through bustling traffic, people heading home to eat with their families. we were heading to the long xuyen basketball team's new home court. it was majestic.

the court is surrounded by a large green fence with giant halogen lights at various points along the way. this new court attracts a larger crowd than their old court did. people stood outside the gate to watch us all barrel up and down passing and shooting and scoring.

i was greeted by my teamates with warm smiles and pats on the back. 'are you well?' 'what did you do at home?' 'how is your family?'

we played for hours, much longer than usual. i had lost a good deal of my form but it slowly came back. i ended and my legs were shaking from the fast paced games.

we went to drink some sugar cane juice and bask in our recient reunification. it was a wonderful moment sitting on plastic chairs and feeling the blood pulse through the body and the wind blow against legs.

that was happiness.

i just walked out on the balcony of the second story of my office and watched the rain. it poured down and students hid under trees and overhangs. i watched it and it splashed me but i didn't care.

the clouds that hang above the earth throughout the rainy season occasionally decide to open themselves up and release warm water. they amble about the country for about six months calmly observing the goings and comings of the population. we, for the most part, ignore them and go about our lives in search of happiness.

occasionally, we find it.

today was quite a typical day for the clouds. they were up before me and i was woken up and instantly lulled back to sleep by a driving rain that cleaned my window. it stopped and i went to coffee. at coffee it started again. it rained while i ate my noodles and sipped my drink. it stopped as i drove my bicycle home only to start again as i sat down to work.

it was a blessed day for me. the clouds decided it would be better of them if they left me alone to search for happiness.

once again, i find myself in long xuyen.

the bus pulled into town last night just about supper time. we drove down the wet streets under grey skies with our legs feeling the brunt of a five hour journey. i jumped on a bicycle-taxi with all of my bags and we slowly made our way to the university.

as we drove, an incredible thing happened. being pulled by a middle-aged man on a bicycle with at least 100 pounds of bags makes for a slow trip. i sit off of the side of the cart that he is pulling and watch people. yesterday, as i pulled into town, i was greeted by just about everyone.

the lady who sells bread waved to me. the girls at the coffee shop smiled. the man who has the long, tube-like dog waved. as we approached the university, a man i have never met who is in his 60's and sells things by the side of the road looked at me with amazement and said, 'it's been quite a long time since we've seen you here!' i had never talked to the man before in my life.

while this beautiful place can obviously survive and thrive without my presence, it was nice to know that people missed me.

i spent this day trying to reclaim my room from the thousands of brown pieces of gecko remains. they stick to everything. i swept the room out twice and then mopped it down thoroughly. i reclaimed my balcony from the spiders and the dust. i even made a stab at taking my bathroom back from a few months of neglect.

i went down to the local wal-mart and bought things from the hundreds of vendors. (nope. no sam walton in sight.) i bought 'hollywood shampoo', which, on the side of the bottle, promised me a chance to actually meet brad pitt. i bought 'spring soap' and 'vim floor cleaner'. it was, all in all, a productive day.

the best greeting i received was from the dog. he has grown into quite an adolescent beast and wouldn't stop jumping all over me and licking my hand. he sat in the room when i was unpacking and simply stared at me for an hour with his gorgeous, almond eyes.

while greetings were wonderful, i dearly miss people at home. why would i put myself through this pain?

i walked off of my plane last night, which was delayed, and drove with an amiable taxi driver into the heart of saigon.

the streets were empty and she drove slowly. we hummed along as motorcycles passed us in random spurts. burtburtburtburtburtburtburtburt.

the hotel i routinely stay at in ho chi minh city was closing for the night. they had turned their giant golden sign off and had partially shut their front gate. i walked in and gave a spirited greeting in vietnamese that one often hears on television just as the news is about to start. 'xin chao qui gi, cac ban!' hello valued people and friends.

they were all sitting in their kitchen playing card games (which they seem to do perpetually). when they heard my late night greeting they all stood up and came to the door to help with my bags. 'it's been such a long time!' 'where have you been?' 'are you well?' all smiles and cheer.

i climbed four flights of stairs and settled into my humble room for a quite night alone. it was 11:00 and i couldn't sleep. it was 12:00 and i couldn't sleep. i thought of all that i had left, all the people that i cared about. i sat on the bed and hid my face in the pillow.

coming back here feels auxiliary, not necessary. it feels like i gave up too much to return.

the ceiling fan turned and clicked. click-click-click-click all night long. the air was thick with humidity but comfortable. i lost myself in the fan with its turning and clicking.

it has been too long since i have written.

the last couple of weeks in pennsylvania were some of the most wonderful and stressful weeks of my entire life. i took tests, traveled around and, most importantly, spent time with rachel. i left on thursday morning a little before noon, boarded a partially empty plane and sat in seat 31c for almost 14 hours. there:s nothing like sitting in a seat for seven hours only to wake up to the realization that you still have another seven to go before you land in japan.

and here i am, narita airport. it:s really quite an efficient airport with its monorail trains, tiny roads that wind about and free internet cafe. it is about four in the afternoon here and i have another five hour flight before i reach ho chi minh city.

life in america was brilliant. i was surprised how comfortable i became with the lifestyle in such a short amount of time. in those short two months i traveled from new york to virginia, indiana to new jersey. i:ll write all about it another time.

this is another moment of transition for me; it is one of those points in life we all run across that feels like a little hump, or hill. we all eventually work our way over it towards normalcy. i am now in limbo, somewhere half way up the hill. it:s hard to imagine that i:ll soon be riding on motorcycle taxi:s again and thumping along narrow roads in a muggy, wet delta.

i haven:t really told many people that i:m going to be coming back to long xuyen. i:ve left that a seceret.

well, i:m tired and sore. the small, white airport cars are all slowly and carefully driving between the lines. the airport workers all have nice, white hats on and different colored uniforms. there is a giant plane being towed around by one of those box-like trucks with giant tires. cargo moves too and fro. i sit in the internet cafe surrounded by people wearing only the most stylish glasses, shirts and pants. i have a bluffton college soccer shirt and a grey, hooded sweatshirt on.

thanks to everyone i talked to this summer who continues to support me over here. you are all wonderful.