-^-for posterity-^-

my ankle has swollen in a disgusting way. it is purple all over the bottom and the skin has enveloped the bone. it looks like a pig hoof.

i told a number of people here about it and they decided i should have it fixed. i was given much advice as to where i should go to have it fixed and eventually settled on a friendly teacher who knew much about oriental medicine.

i found him in a coffee shop early in the morning. he said he would be happy to fix my ankle and, when i asked him when he had free time, he said he could do it right now if someone just went and bought some sort of oil. someone from the table volunteered and went off and was back in a matter of minutes, not even long enough for the dust to settle.

he bought 'white tiger balm' and i sat back in a small, plastic chair. the teacher began to apply the balm all over the swollen parts of my ankle. he applied it with vigor and it hurt.

he then stood up and grabbed my ankle. i was about to fall off my small plastic chair when he really started to work. he pulled at the smallest toe which hurt slightly. he pulled at the next toe which hurt more. he pulled at the middle toe and the pain was excruciating. i didn't think it could get any more painful.

he grabbed my heel with one hand and the base of my foot with the other hand. he began to twist my foot around quickly and aggressively. he was twisting it in all the ways it didn't want to go and it was arguably more painful than the actual experience of twisting my ankle. he then started to push my toes up and down quickly which was equally painful.

he hovered over me and knew exactly what he was doing. he said nothing except, 'this foot is huge.' he asked for a piece of paper because he didn't have a good enough grip and placed it on my toes. he then went back to work twisting my foot left and right and up and down in every way the sprain didn't want to be twisted.

i laid back in my plastic chair and could barely stand the pain. my face contorted and my hands must have been white gripping the legs of the chair. i let out low groaning noises, something of a growl. everyone giggled around me and people stopped their bicycles and motorbikes to watch my writhing.

after about four minutes of acute pain the doctor/teacher stopped. by now the white tiger balm was burning my ankle and every ounce of me was glad the event was over with. he told me to stand up and walk normally. i did and, amazingly enough, my ankle barely hurt.

i walked around the coffee shop with a stunned grin on my face. i didn't quite believe the fact that he could have cured my ankle with a small bottle of white tiger balm and lots of tugging and pushing. he says i have to meet him in his office tomorrow morning for one more session and then i'll be able to play basketball again.