-^-for posterity-^-

my sink fell off of the wall. well, it didn’t fall off, i did have something to do with it.

this morning i went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and what not. i hobbled into the bathroom and glanced briefly at my swollen, well-rested face. another day. i had finished brushing my teeth and leaned up close to my foot-wide mirror. it sets a bit behind the sink and one can’t really see well for picking zits and what not.

my right hand rested on the sink. the sink always looked quite formidable and seemed to be quite sturdy. if you looked at it from a distance all seemed quite normal. however, when it was touched, it had an unnerving habit of moving.

i must have put a bit too much pressure on the right side. it was supporting a bit of my weight nicely. then there was that moment when everything goes remarkably wrong. all of the sudden nothing was supporting my hand. all of the sudden all the laws of physics were thrown out the window. i started to fall towards the mirror and my left hand caught me. the sink floated to the ground and shattered. the sink floated in silence. my heart raced.

i stood over the maimed carcass and nothing made sense. what had i done. how would i explain this to anyone. water was spraying everywhere.

i began to tape the hose up and was soon covered with water. i took a shower and plotted.

one of my friends in the foreign language center asked me to come over and have breakfast. it was perfect timing. i explained to him what happened and he promised to get it fixed right away.

i came home and was greeted by a small man who was going to repair my sink. he came in, assessed the damage and said he was going to get another sink while i cleaned up.

he came in with my new sink. my old sink was small, sleek and white. my new sink looked like it came out of a world war two submarine. it was covered in dirt and stained yellow. it was large and square and thin.

he attached it in about ten minutes. the drain fixture was too big on my “new” sink so he had to “adjust” it. the fixture was plastic and the wall mounting was metal. it involved him lighting a small fire with toilet paper on my bathroom floor and melting the plastic until he could force the drain into the wall.

i have a new sink and it doesn’t shimmy when i touch it. i’m quite happy.