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international women’s day. i wish everyday was today.

the english teachers (the males) took the other english teachers (the females) out to dinner. we went to the local teacher hang out. it’s a place with small, stout, wooden tables and itty-bitty stools for sittin’. their specialty is lau bo which is nothing more than a donut looking metal container with burning coal in the middle. there is a deep, rounded ring, much like upside-down angel food cake, surrounding these embers. that’s where the broth goes. that’s where the meat and vegetables and whatever else they have sitting around goes.

to really show that it was international women’s day one of the women in the english department was allowed to drive one of the men around on a motorcycle. normally the only time something like this would happen is when a mother was driving around her much younger son. men drive motorcycles and women ride behind them. the female teacher drove up beside the motorcycle that i was riding on and shouted, “i’m liberated!” i had not the slightest idea what she meant. i smiled and said, “yes, this is women’s day.” but was later told the enormity of the event. she was driving around a man and not just any man, a man who was older than her.

while eating, normally it’s the woman’s job to put the various parts of the steer into the ring for boiling. today, the duty was shifted to those with shorter hair and deeper voices. we kindly placed all sorts of goodies into the ring: brain, tendons, skin, fat, some meat, some strange balls of mystery meat and an assortment of vegetables that could have been taken from any weed patch surrounding the restaurant.

it’s also the woman’s job to dole out the food. they normally dutifully fill the men’s bowls with whatever appears appetizing. normally i’m stuck with lots of brain, lots of tendons and not much of anything that would be tasty. i always smile and say it’s delicious. who has the heart to say that eating boiled beef brain isn’t appetizing?

so, today i did the doling. today i served the women. today they got the brains and tendons and mystery balls of flesh. today i got the smaller chunks of actual meat, the vegetables and lots of noodles. today i ate well.

it all feels like one big conspiracy but i think this international women’s day actually turned on the women. no longer were they able to choose what they wanted, they were now at our mercy. no longer were they able to pick around the goodies and give us the refuse. men have suffered long enough under the oppressive thumb of women! today was out day to shine! it was our day to get the noodles!

sarcasm aside, i think international women’s day is a good idea. i asked some of my male students about it. i asked them what date international man’s day fell on and they replied, “i think every other day of the year is international man’s day.” aptly put.