-^-for posterity-^-

the dog was wearing jewelry. whose idea it was, i don’t know. well, i do know. it was a small, green buddha that had much sentimental value.

i was walking the dog and the leash was attached to his collar like a businessman and their tie; not quite strangling him but seriously hindering his movement. the small, buddha fell off.

jack and i went searching for the buddha in the leaves. small, greenish-brown leaves that each could have been our little pendant. we searched a large, rectangular area while the dog sat tied to a bench.

first, students came up to us and asked us what we were doing. secondly, they started to look too. thirdly, the security guard came up to us and questioned us. he started looking too. thirdly, a small, frail man who normally fixes the wooden benches and desks came up to us and offered us a few brooms to sweep away the leaves. within five minutes we had about eight or ten people helping us in our quest for the small, illusive, green buddha.

after about ten minutes we all gave up. the area was too large and the leaves were a mosaic of complexity. one of the students came up to me and asked me what, exactly, we were looking for. i made a mistake.

i said it was a small, green buddha that our dog was wearing. what? why was your dog wearing something so valuable that you spent the last fifteen minutes sweeping away leaves? i didn’t know how to explain sentimental value. i left feeling dejected.

we put it on the dog because we wanted him to look attractive to other dogs. our dog is lonely and needs a girlfriend. we walk him around the neighborhood and, with the small, illusive, green buddha, our dog seemed to be quite a bit more handsome. the female dogs would stare a bit longer as he happily trotted by. the male dogs would look with a bit more spite in their beady, black eyes. it all turned out to be a mistake.

everyone knows that, if they see a small, green, illusive buddha, they should come to us and we’ll quickly give it back to its rightful owner. our dog looks depressed without it.