-^-for posterity-^-

today i taught. my first time playing the role of instructor. my first time wielding so much authority. my first time pretending i knew something.

i found out yesterday. i found out at nine at night that i was to teach at seven the next morning. that would give me a solid ten hours to prepare for a three hour session. three hours with a class i never met teaching something i never taught. that’s ten hours if i was to avoid sleeping. i decided to sleep and it gave me only three.

i prepared a lesson plan that was simple and time consuming. the marathon class (three hours with two ten minute breaks in between) began without much fanfare. i introduced myself thoroughly. i drew a map on the board of america and explained what pennsylvania and philadelphia were. they all sat there stone-faced. i told them what i was doing here. i’m not sure i know myself but i sounded convincing.

we moved on to the rules of my classroom. i came up with these rules last night before i went to bed. i proclaimed them to my loyal pupils as if they were written by the hand of god herself/himself. the four rules are: participate, respect, no vietnamese and punctuality. the first one is geared towards those shy girls sitting in the front row adorned in shiny ao dai. they do not speak but peep. they do not move but glide. they do not laugh but giggle. i want them to speak in class and i tell them that their participation is paramount to their success. i look deeply and sincerely into each pair of eyes. it’s quite a motley list but i think it’ll work.

we moved on to a pairs dialogue. they got into groups of two and asked each other such interesting questions as, “what is your name?”, and, “where are you from?, and, don’t forget, my favorite, “what is your favorite food?” i also threw in two interesting ones: “if you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go and why?”, and, “who is the person you respect most in life and why?”

they began to slowly cackle back and fort and stumble over words. i ambled around the room appearing important and continuously wondering what i was doing there. i had two hours to go.

they presented their dialogues but with, oh, so much coaxing. jon: “ok, which group would like to go first?” class: silence. jon: “guys (firmly but sincerely), i need to know who wants to go first.” class: silence. jon: (confused, about to blush but constantly reminding himself that students, like dogs, can smell fear for miles. must exude confidence.) “ok, i’m going to begin picking groups. we’ll start in the front left. please stand up and present your dialogue.” things moved swiftly after they began.

a normal dialogue went something like this: (shy girl stands up in an ao dai. she covers her mouth as she reaches the front of the room. her friend walks behind her. her hair is plagued with some large, puffy apparatus designed to hold her hair in place. the apparatus was formerly employed as a christmas tree ornament.) “hello class. this is my friend phuong. she is from long xuyen city. we all know she is beautiful and smart. (giggle. sticks out tongue.) some of her favorite activities are watching television and shopping. her favorite food is sour soup and she always eats. she says that she would travel to paris if she could go anywhere in the world. she thinks it is a lovely city. maybe she can find a boyfriend there (giggle. sticks out tongue.) the person that she respects most in this world is her father. she says that he is responsible and good. he also gives her money and she likes that. she likes to shop. thank you. (slight bow. glance in my direction for approval. class claps. they always clap for everything.) jon: “very good. go ahead phuong.” and so on.

forty three young adults and me. teaching and absorbing. one person pretending they’re an authority figure and forty three pretending they don’t notice that he’s as much of a child as they are. i enjoyed class today. i enjoyed teaching and looking into the student’s eyes. i was twitchy and nervous at first but i exuded confidence throughout.

i couldn’t have had a better first day teaching. even if i only knew about it ten hours in advance.